Posted by: raisethecatalyst | August 19, 2013

3 tears for the blue and black….

If you are reading this, you know the struggle. You know the pain, the sudden changes in schedules, the pissed off customers and the long holiday hours.

You are accustomed to the drama, the gossip, the news of pregnancy or the sudden loss of a family member. Whether you’ve worked here for almost a decade or just a few months, you know it all.

Ross has given me all of the above. I feel like I’ve experienced more life lessons there then I would have had anywhere else. It’s kind of scary, but it’s sweet. If I were to work anywhere else, I’m almost positive that it would have been too easy. I would have never had a reason to stand up to management and just say “no” to closing for them after I had been there since morning. I would have never had the guts to tell a customer that they can NOT have cash back even though they paid with a debit card for a return. I would have not found the need to say “Yeah I’m a Christian” if the conversation called for it OR to briefly explain my reasoning of celibacy when I was given the crazy looks. And I would have probably, never in my life had such dysfunctional love bonds that I have with some of my associates. Not ever.

I am a firm believer that God placed me in the store of 0521 to obtain a different view of Him, of people and of myself. He needed to show me how to be calm in hectic situations, with rude customers and the multiple personalities of co-workers that I have dealt with in the past 3 years. I went from being overly passive to being somewhat bold in who I am. Although it probably isn’t displayed that way, I know the changes and the choices that I’ve had to make to get to that point. I grew up at Ross, in my faith and who I am before you today. I’m not finished, but I’m a lot better than what I was before. Every day I punch in my associate number I open myself to new opportunities of growth. I drink it in and let it permeate my soul and walk away every night trying to dissect what happened that day or that week or that month. I’ve seen so many different types of people walk through those doors that I almost feel like I’ve see all the faces that God created with his hand, but that’s not true.

 

There is more for me to see and learn and grow from, which is why I have decided to resign from Ross. Yes, my season I believe has FINALLY come to a beautiful end. And the crazy thing about it is, I have no back up plan. I don’t have  a new job to hop right into, I just have…nothing. Is it scary? Yes, very. I’m always the girl who has a plan for her day or life. I don’t like to be caught off guard by randomness, it’s just something that’s not in my nature. Although I can be sort of random myself. But this wasn’t like a spur of the moment decision. I’ve actually been mulling over the idea for months now, that I felt that I had to have a plan for the after effects. Because honestly, what nutcase just decides to leave her job with nothing to fall back on? I do, apparently. About a year or two ago I found out that I have a passion for people and helping them in tough situations in life. I like the hear their hearts and encourage them. I like to get to know them over good food and conversation. I like to serve them the best way I know how and that’s how I show my love to God: by loving the broken-hearted or the unlovable. It’s how he loved me and it’s how I want to live my life. I want to counsel, I want to speak life and love over people and that’s kind of a hard thing to do while working at a place like Ross. I’m not saying it will be super easy outside of it, but working there was making it sort of hard to do. I felt limited to a strict schedule, distracted and frustrated. I enjoy serving for Celebrate Recovery with the Landing and serving at 212. I want to do more but I just can’t.

I want to be readily open to what new adventures God has in store for me, I want to learn more about what he needs of me, no distractions. I don’t know where I will work next. I stopped applying for jobs because I didn’t want to work for a place where I wasn’t passionate about.

But I will never forget Ross. I will never ever forget my friends that I have laughed with, or maybe cried with, thrown nubs at or had random movie quote moments. I can’t forget the jokes we’ve cracked on each other or laughing at the dumb complaints from customers. I can’t forget that. I refuse.

I want to let all of my co-workers know this: I love every single one of you in a different way. You guys have so much more to achieve and I believe that you fully have what it is to be whatever it takes. Don’t allow Ross to keep you in a position of feeling like you can’t be what your heart craves to be. I see something special in all of you and so does God. Like my dad used to say “Keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for the stars”

Don’t stay stuck. I love you, chumps ❤

 

 

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